A new season!

So I'm back... It's been OVER a year since my last post, and I truly miss blogging! There is something...

...empowering?

...exciting?

...freeing?

...about spending some time writing something that means something to you - or something that is silly that you know will make someone smile and then pushing "publish post", not really knowing who is going to read it! I miss it. AND the wonderful and beautiful Ricci Humphrey turned my boring blog into something fabulous! So here I am blogging once again, and I'm super excited!

So where to start? I haven't really known what to blog about because I read all these intelligent and hilarious and thoughtful blogs, and I think, "Man, I wish I could write like that..." or "Wow... The LORD is doing some incredible things in her life! Is my walk with the LORD that strong?" And so I don't write - or I hit the snooze bar a few extra times and miss waking up with the joy and anticipation that comes when I start my day off right - depending on my LORD and Savior. And it hit me this morning - I spend more time comparing my walk with the LORD to other's, I often miss out on where the LORD is leading me...

So this morning when I was spending time with Him (sitting next to my mom in Nebraska!), I felt like God was trying to break through that crippling mindset I've managed to pick up.

"At the command of the LORD they camped, and at the command of the LORD they set out. they kept the charge of the LORD, at the command of the LORD by Moses." - Numbers 9:23

"Only let each person lead the life that the LORD has assigned to him, and to which God has called him..." - 1 Corinthians 7:17

Woah. I know it's kind of a "duh Katherine.." type thing, but why would I want to lead the life of someone else? The LORD has truly blessed me with some incredible men and women who have such a passion and fervor for the LORD, and sometimes I see their diligence and discipline and passion and automatically compare myself to them. What are they doing that I'm not? They seem so close to the LORD - how come I'm struggling in this area and they are not?

Writing all of this out makes it seem so foolish (which it is), but that is what goes through my head some of the time. And it really isn't that I'm not content where I am, because I am. But sometimes (and most of those sometimes occur when I am not daily in His Word) I try to do those things I see my friends are doing in my own strength, believing that if I can somehow alter myself to be more like them, I'll be closer to Him. And every single time I have tried to tack on something to my walk with the LORD without the Holy Spirit's prompting and conviction - I fail. Miserably. Which leads to me feeling like a failure and then I pull even further away from the LORD. Pretty messed up, eh?

So what am I doing comparing myself to others? It's easy to blame it on culture or the world - but I don't think that excuse really holds up for those who are living for Christ. And that excuse definitely doesn't make me feel any better...

"For those he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son..." - Romans 8:29

And there it is - the root of my sin. Who am I trying to conform to? Who am I trying to please? Because as far as I know, God created me to be me. He reached down and saved my life not because I looked like so-and-so or because I did this and that, but because he loved ME. Sanctification is a difficult process, but I am so thankful that I have a LORD and Savior that is not content to leave me where I am at. I am so thankful that I have the Holy Spirit inside of me that hits me in the face with a 2x4 when I need to be. And I am SO thankful for the life my Father has given me - for the passions He has given me and the strengths! Even the weaknesses are blessings - especially when they cause me to depend even more on the LORD...

I truly am excited about this season in my life. It's a season of hope and excitement; of change and discipline. But most importantly - It's MY season. It's the life the LORD has assigned ME. And that's pretty incredible...